GRASS CUTTER

One fine day, I landed a listing that would make any golf lover drool — an 800-square-meter fairway lot.

Except… when I arrived, the “view” was gone. Buried under 15-foot-tall talahib. The fairway, the main selling point, was completely invisible.

So I asked the admin to clear it. “Scheduled po,” they said — which, in Filipino time, could mean next week or next century.

A third-party contractor quoted P15,000 for a full cut.

JPRE logic kicked in:

Why pay fifteen grand when Shopee sells a gas-powered cutter for five?

It’s just a matter of swinging left and right, right? Plus, free cardio!

So off I went — grass cutter in tow.

The lot owner, a good friend, joined me. We stopped by a junk shop for a gas can, filled it up at the station, and marched to the battlefield.

Reality check: some of the talahib roots were as thick as my thumb. The grass cutter whined, sputtered, and jammed like it was begging for mercy. After an hour, drenched in sweat, we declared victory, popped open beers from the cooler, and toasted our “productivity.”

Three hours and several beers later, we admired our handiwork — a neatly trimmed patch from curb to what we thought was the lot.

That’s when my friend squinted at the distance, pointed a few meters away, and said,

“Pare… I think that’s my lot.” 🤦🏻‍♂️

So we drove home in silence, the car filled with the faint sting of gasoline fumes from the plastic container — a fitting scent of defeat. In the end, we donated the grass cutter to a farmer who could actually make good use of it.

Moral of the Story:

Some jobs are better left to professionals.

A few months later, he hired a legit team — four men, one hour, job done.

Rating: –1/5. Would not recommend DIY landscaping.

Lesson 2: Choose pre-selling properties from developers who actually maintain their sites — especially the ones that keep the grass trimmed.